


its not enough to feel the lack

by RhymeReason



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Other, PTSD kinda?, Post-Canon, lots of talk of tehe whole glamour spings shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 02:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhymeReason/pseuds/RhymeReason
Summary: Taako didnt cook anymore





	its not enough to feel the lack

**Author's Note:**

> I had been working on a long fic taakitz fic but i accidently turned on my Twins playlist instead of my Taakitz playlist and I made myself emotional  
> (also this is pretty much unedited bc when do i ever edit anything)
> 
> title is from Ribs By Lorde

While Lup was inside the umbrella, she had nothing but her thoughts and memories. The only good thing about being dead and stuck inside the umbrella was that she could remember everything, unlike her counterparts in the world. From the moment Taako picked up the Umbra Staff, Lup could tell that he didn't know. He had no idea that the random umbrella he just picked up was anything other than a weird wand that someone made. He didn't know that there was a whole other person inside that umbrella, a person who had helped defined his life for decades.

Taako had forgotten it all.

Lup noticed many things while Taako had the Umbra Staff. She noticed he was crueler than before, all of his comments having an underlying attack to them that everyone took as a joke. She noticed that he held himself at a distance from everyone, even Magnus and Merle. She noticed the way Magnus’ shoulders tensed ever so slightly whenever someone talked about love and the look of anguish that was only there for half a second before being squished down. She noticed how Merle was more wary of the things around him, though he was still quick to forgive and forget. She noticed the sadness in Lucretias face and even though she hated her for taking her brother away, she felt a pang of sympathy.She understood what it's like to make a hard decision and have it backfire. 

But the biggest thing she noticed was that Taako didnt cook anymore.

She didnt notice it until after they had gotten the second relic (Davenport’s this time. The only good thing about that quest was meeting Angus.) but it was true. In the months since Taako had found her, she hadn't seen him cook anything. 

She dwelled on it for as long as she could manage but her thoughts sometimes went fuzzy when she was in the umbrella and when they began their next mission, she forgot about it.

  
  


 

It wasn't until almost a week after The Day Of Story And Song that the IPRE Crew got a chance to rest and catch up with one another. The relief efforts across the world had been keeping everyone busy but eventually, there was a quiet moment where all seven of them found themselves piled into Taako, Magnus and Merle's communal living area. All of seven of them were on the floor in a pile, even Lup, although she didnt have a real body. Yet.

Lup was against Taako and Barry  and despite the fact that she couldnt really touch either of them, they made it work. It was incredibly similar to how they used to do it on the Starblaster after being reunited at the beginning of the cycles. It made Lups chest ache with happiness.

After a while, Lup heard the tell-tale sounds of the others getting hungry after a long dy. It took Merle’s stomach growling four times in a row before she stood up and stretched her spectral arms over her head.

“Cmon bro-bro, let's go make some food before Merles stomach jumps out of his body to try and strangle us.”

“Pass.” Taako  replied, not opening his eyes.

Lup frowned. Taako had never turned down an opportunity to cook with her. She shared a look with Barry, who seemed to try and tell her to let it go, which made even less sense. 

“Ko-Ko,” Lup tried again. “I haven't gotten to even try and cook yet in this dimension and I can't really do it alone.”

“Fine fine fine.” Taako stood up and Lup noticed Barry’s eyes following them as they went into the kitchen. 

“What do you want to make?” Lup asked, looking around and seeing what they had in the area of cooking supplies. There was a single pot, a single frying pan, three bowls, three plates, three spoons and three forks. Upon opening the fridge, there was revealed to only be cheese, bread, butter, some chicken and a half full bottle of Fantasy Sriracha. 

“Sweet Pan, taako.” Lup stared at her brother. “What the fuck did you three eat for a year and a half?”

Taako shrugged. “A lot of Olive Garden. Who knew that the best Olive Garden in existence was on the fucking moon?’

“I guess.” Lup looked back at the food. “Well, looks like everyone’s getting grilled cheese.”

“Fucking rad.” Taako wasnt looking at her. 

Something was wrong.

“Whats up with you?”

“Nothing.” He responded quickly. “Taako’s all good. Chill as shit. Im cooler than a cucumber actually. Im like a fucking flash frozen cucumber.”

“Youre rambling.”

“I dont ramble, I eleaborate. I paint you a fucking word picture, onethat you can clearly visualize. You saw the cucumber in your mind’s eye, right? Exactly. Word picture.”

“Whatever you say, KoKo. Can you start buttering the bread?” She passed him the bread, butter and a knife she grabbedd out of the sink. “Ill try and track down some spices”

“Yeah alright, Ill play sous chef.” He took the items from her and got to work.

Lup opened all the cupboards in the kitchen and mangaged to find another three items. An unopened bag of sugar, almond flour and a shaker of pepper. She turnedd back to Taako. “You dont even have fucking salt?”

“We ran out right before we left the Wonderland.” Taako excused. “You should remeber this, you were there for Magnus yelling at Merle about it.”

“It took a lot of concentration to hear anything in that umbrella and I spent a hundred years listening to the three of you bicker. I tuned it out.”

“Okay, that valid.”

“Can you just transmute this sugar into salt?” Lup passed him the bag of sugar. 

Taako looked at the sugar and made an expression that Lup couldnt identify the emotion in. It looked like pain, but before Lup could make any head way in decifering it, it was gone, replaced by a lazy, cocky smile. 

“Of course I can transmute this into salt, LuLu. Thats wizard shit level one.” His voice sounded tenser than usual but he waved his wand and the sugar was salt. 

“Thanks.”

They worked in silence, which wasnt strange for them usually, but Lup couldnt help but stare at Taako as he cooked. Beyond transmuting the the salt, he used no magic at all for the grilled cheeses. Usually he would add any sort of flare to it, even if it was just to entertain her, but there was nothing of the sort. It was so unlike Taako that it made Lup’s stomach clench. 

Once all of the sandwiches were done, they loaded them onto the plates and went back out to where the others were. 

“Ooooo food!” Magnus reached out and swiped a grilled cheese off the plate. “Thanks you two.”

“No problem.” Lup said. Taako didn’t respond but his eyes tracked Magnus’s movements carefully. He looked like he was going to be sick. He twitched and before Lup could ask what the fuck was wrong with her brother, the sandwich reached Magnus’s mouth and Taako sprung forward and whacked the sandwich out of Magnus’s hand.  “Dont fucking eat that.”

Magnus looked shocked, but not surprised. He frowned slightly. “Ill still eat that”

“Taako, what the fuck?” Lup turned to her brother. 

“Fuck.” Taako ran his hand down his face and took a step back. His eyes were darting around, but not looking at him. He was breathing hard, like he had just ran a marathon. The eyes of the group followed him, all except for Barry. 

Barry stepped forward and gently placed a hand on Taako’s shoulder. Taako flinched away and Barry put his hand down, but he stayed next to him. 

“Its okay, Taako.” Barry said gently. “Its okay.”

“No its fucking not.” Taako gritted his teeth. “Besides, what the fuck do you know about it, Barold?” 

“It’s about Glamour Springs, isn’t it?” Barry asked, speaking so softly that Lup could barely hear him. 

Taako stares at him. “How do you know about that? I haven’t even told these chucklefucks about that.” 

“I...visited a lot of places when I trying to find you all.” Barry said slowly. “Including Glamor Springs.”

Taako looked like he was going to puke. He was shaking and Lup wanted to run forward and just squeeze and protect her brother. Take him away, run him as far away from whatever this was as possible but she couldnt. SHe couldnt even make herself move forward to try and comfort him.

“Fuck, Barry.” Taako choked out. “Did I….fucking kill you?”

“No, no!” Barry held his hands up. “No, I was there was a lich. I had died a few days earlier and I was passing through on my way back to my cave. I saw Sazed put the arsenic in the chicken and I tried everything I could to try and stop him but I wasnt able to considering at that point, I wasnt able to show myself to you without being tracked down right away. I did shout in your ear though and i tried to make sure you yourself didnt try the chicken. And you didnt. Its not your fault Taako.”

“No, I just fed arsenic laced chicken to 40 people instead.” Taako shouted.

There was silence in the room. Lup didnt need to breath while in lich form but she still found that she suddenly couldnt. No wonder Taako barely cooked anymore. 

Taako looked up, as if he had seemingly remembered that there was other people in the room. His eyes darted around before he turned away. “Fuck, Im gonna go, bye.” and he ran out of the room.

“What the fuck.”

 

 

It took Lup almost twenty minutes to track Taako down. She eventually found him laid out against a tree on the far side of the quad, talking in a very quiet voice to his stone of farspeech. 

“Yeah yea, Im fine Krav, I promise.” Taako said in a low voice. Lup heard him sigh and thump his head against the tree. “ Im good now. Thanks for talking with me.

“Always, my love.” Kravitz voice was small and tinny over the stone but Lup could still hear him. “I have to go, are you sure youre okay?”

“Yeah, Im sure Lup or someone will be racing after me soon enough.” Lup could hear a small smile in her brother's voice. “Ill talk to you later. We still on for tonight?”

“Yes, definitely. Ill see you later. I love you, Taako.”

“I love you too, you doofus. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

The stone of farspeech clicked off and Lup took that as her cue to step out into Taako’s line of sight.

“Hey.” She sat down next to him. He automatically rested his head on her shoulder.

“Hey Lulu.” Lup let the nickname pass.

“You okay?” She asked quietly. 

“Yeah, I guess. It just….It fucked me up to know that a dude who's essentially my brother saw me accidently kill 40 people, ya know?” He said quietly. 

“Yeah, that sounds fucky.” Lup put her head on top of Taako’s. “It made me realize that I missed a lot of your life while I was in that Umbrella.”

“I know.” He closed his eyes. “A lot of fucking shit happened in those ten years.”

“I know.”

“We arent even identical anymore.” He whispered. 

“Well, when you have your glamor on and Im my body again we are. Thats close enough, right?”

“I guess.”

“We are always gonna be brother and sister, Taako. Theres nothing in any reality that could change that. Do you remember what I told you before me and Barry became liches?”

“Im your heart.”

“Youre my heart.” Lup agreed. “So what if we dont look exactly alike? So what if there’s a part of your life that I wasnt there for? You are still gonna be my heart.”

“And youll be mine.” Taako said.

“But you will tell me about what I missed in those ten years, right?”

“Oh, natch. Just...not yet, alright?”

“Okay. Love you, Taako.”

“I love you too, Lup.”

**Author's Note:**

> catch me @kentuckyfriedbooks on tumblr  
> please talk to me, im so lonely


End file.
